Can Rivals Make You Stronger? Lessons in Leadership and Growth
Martin Luther King, Jr. said: “We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power of love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.”
Your past and present enemies
If only we didn’t have to work and live with human beings. But sadly, people bring their baggage — past and present — to every situation (socially and work). Unavoidably tensions will exist.
If you are bumping heads in your social or work environment it means two people are having a flight (you being one).
Passing the buck, ignoring or attempting to contain it sometimes is not enough.
Instead turn your rivals into partners and in the process strengthen your positions, networks and career.
Ready?
How ready are you to enjoy some freedom this year?
How ready are you for the challenge to turn your top 5 enemies into allies?
The plan
Step 1 – choose your top 5 enemies
Step 2 – prioritize them with completion date
Step 3 – commit and share to someone else
Step 4 – define a step-by-step strategy
Step 5 – define actions with dates and diarize
Step 6 – do it!
Chances are you’ll have 5 more invites for your year-end-party this year.
Know from the start, that you can do everything from your side but sometimes that may not be enough.
Make peace with that. You tried.
You might not have an ally but you will have no enemy either.
Some tips
More great tips to turn your enemies into allies:
– be self-aware: introspection will highlight key truths
– seek the good: everybody has something
– be honest: they’ll smell dishonesty a mile away
– walk in their shoes: really walk it though (working with a coach can really give perspective)
– get to know them: their hobbies, likes and dislikes, everything
– find common ground: your most powerful tool
– stay calm: always
– follow through: don’t let it be a once-off, your true character lies here.
Do
If Nelson Mandela could forgive his oppressors for spending 27 years in jail and become allies, you can forgive yours.
Now, go make some friends!
As published in leading business journal ASA in May 2014.